To all the momma’s out there that are just beginning their journey of breast feeding or the pregnant momma’s trying to make the decision if breast or bottle fed is best for you and your baby… Let me just get brutally honest with you. We (breast feeding Momma’s) have done you an injustice and I feel like it’s important to point that out. Right now breast feeding is the “new hot topic”… There are pictures of breast feeding moms in beautiful long flowing dresses, softly caressing their baby or toddler as they feed off their breast and the mom looks so peaceful and put together. There are other pictures of celebrities circling the Internet, laying on a bed with their hair tousled perfectly as their baby sweetly suckles at their side. Again, not a worry in the world, just smiling, modelesque faces that makes every mother in the world “want to look like that.” But the truth is, breast feeding is tough. It is NOT an easy task and some days it just plain feels daunting. Did I breast feed all three of my children? Yes. Am I glad I did? Yes. Absolutely. I do feel it helped me bond with them and appreciate the female body in a way I had never before. However, I can promise you, you never would have found me in a beautiful flowing dress while breast feeding gracefully. In fact, if I had a dress on and had to nurse my baby, odds are you would have found me with the top of the dress pulled all the way down to my waist, sweating and praying to God that none of my breast milk was dripping out of the other side my baby’s mouth all over the exposed part of the dress. That usually ended in frantically trying to find somewhere to set the baby while trying to get my dress back on right and shoving breast pads back into my nursing bra just in-case I filled up with milk before my baby was ready to eat again. And If you found me laying on the bed while breast feeding, it was probably because I was so tired from being up the whole night (most likely breast feeding) and I was hoping to shut my eyes for a few minutes more while my baby (awkwardly) drank every last ounce of energy out of me.
Does this mean breast feeding is terrible and excruciating? No, not all the time at least. There were times where I rocked and nursed my baby and I studied every part of their face, so thankful to be in that moment with them. I spent hours upon hours praying over each one of my children while nursing, and I will always remember those sweet little side smiles that they gave while still drinking from me. There were times when breast feeding felt like the only escape from certain situations and other times where I looked forward to that bonding time with my sweet little one more than anything else that day. I loved being able to calm them, and drawing them close to my heart where they felt safe and loved. But that doesn’t mean there weren’t other times where my nipples were cracked and bleeding and I cried from the pain. There were nights when my baby would refuse to eat from me leaving me feeling overwhelmed, drained and scared all at the same time, certain I was doing every single part of motherhood wrong.
All this to say, to the new momma out there that may see these pictures and wondering why you feel like crying because your baby hasn’t learned to latch right or maybe they are getting teeth and currently using you as a chew toy, I want you to know, you are not doing anything wrong. The moments in those photos, although they are real, and probably very heartfelt, they don’t always give the full picture. Breast feeding is hard business, and sometimes you might just want to give up (and some people do stop, and that’s okay too!) But please know, if your breastfeeding journey doesn’t at all resemble the one in those pictures, you’re not alone. From one breast feeding momma to another… You’re a rock star for even trying. If you’re able to keep up with it, good for you and I hope it only gets easier as your baby gets older. If it turns out not to be your thing, that’s okay too. I think you can share many of those same sweet moments with your baby, no matter how they are fed. The most important thing to remember is, you’re not alone, it’s okay to ask questions and never hesitate to admit your struggling. The more you ask, the more you’ll learn.❤️
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