We all can recall a time or two where we wished we were adults. We wished we were older, and could do more than we were allowed in that moment. But most of us would probably agree, now that we are actual adults, that it is over-rated in many ways. Sure we have freedoms we didn’t have years ago, and we definitely have more control over the decisions we make for our own lives.. but all those carefree, worry free, fun filled days of running around the neighborhood are days we will never get back. We, as adults will never have those moments of not having a care in the world except what snack we were going to have that day ever again.. even if we tried really hard to be as carefree as possible, there will always be something there nagging us in the back of minds….eventually taking us away from that moment of freedom.
But our kids….They still have this time. They still have these moments where they can play, and be just that.. Kids. They can spin around til they fall to the ground laughing and dizzy, they can walk around crying until someone picks them up and kisses the tip of their nose. They can run around without much of anything on their minds except how far down the street they can go, or how far up the hill they are allowed to explore. They can play for hours in the sun and come inside, and their slightly sun burned face is complemented by their lopsided smile, both signs of a good day. This is a gift. A gift called childhood.
Seeing my daughter in these shoes today… trying so hard to walk in shoes that were much too big, and much to high for her.. It made me think about how us parents often ask that same thing of our children each and every day. We ask, no more expect, them to walk in a world that is way too big for them. We expect them to know how to always answer the proper way, or to know when not to question things. We expect them to be quiet in times that are nearly impossible. We demand that they listen to us the first time, and not to wait til the second or third time. We rush them around from one activity to the next and then wonder why they are acting out, not taking in consideration that they are little people walking around in a world that is much larger to them than it is to us, and they are exhausted. I can’t tell you how many times a day I hear a parent (myself included) say “hurry up…” to their kids. What are we always in such a rush for? What are we telling them every.single.time we say those words. We are saying “you’re not fast enough” or “you’re not doing good enough” and “where we are supposed to be is more important than what you are doing right now” and that may be true at times.. But there are the other times that really we are just expecting them to keep up with us… adults, wearing much bigger shoes than they are. We are asking them to put on shoes that are 3 times too big and then telling them to keep up.
I can’t help but to wonder why so many parents want to rush their little ones childhoods… so concerned on keeping up with the latest label society has slapped on children saying what they should and shouldn’t be doing at this age. I suppose its out of fear. Fear that we will raise ungrateful or irresponsible kids if we don’t constantly reinforce the proper way of doing things, or make them take on “age-appropriate” responsibility. Or maybe its because we are worried they might become “behind” in something? But yet we don’t seem nearly as concerned with that the fact that they are probably growing up too quickly, and most likely stressed out far more that they should be and that we, as parents, play a major role in that. Do you ever stop and wonder if allowing spontaneous adventure, curiosity and time to really solve their own problems (at their pace, not ours) is just as important or possibly even more important than that club meeting, math test or basketball practice?
Its so disheartening to watch a child scared to dance when a great song comes on because they are afraid its not appropriate timing… Or to watch a child that has no confidence in themselves because all their decisions have been made for them, not by them. I know I am not a parenting expert, and that this may not be my place to say.. But parents, wake up (and I don’t say that in judgment because I am talking to myself too here). But I have to ask, where is rushing your baby’s childhood going to get you? What is the real purpose for forcing them to be mini-adults before they even know how to tie their shoes? I don’t know about you, but I want to take this time and CHERISH this season in life!!! Because before I know it, those mini little adults will be real adults, and then they have no choice but to juggle the daily struggles, worries, responsibilities, and “go, go” schedules that us adults are forced to deal with each day.
So today, friends, let your kids truly be just that, Kids. Let them play, laugh, sing, dance and ask a hundred questions without stopping them. Let them navigate through life with curious eyes and wondrous minds. Let them play games that might be “too little” for them and encourage them to not care about what toys or shows their friends think are cool. Be the parent that helps them say little for as long as possible….. for they will only have this childhood once.
This post spoke deeply to me today! We spent our morning being lazy (really lazy) because our girls came in our bed to cuddle, which is happening less and less often. Dave and I have committed to cherishing these moments instead of being worried about our morning routine, even if it did mean a mad rush to catch the bus. 😉 We never know when it will be the last time, when they’ll decide they’re too big…
I try to slow down many times, but things are not in hand sometimes. Being a solo parent of two girls, I have to handle 100 things at a time in a day and at those moments I ask them to “hurry up” and forget our hugs and cuddles. Your write up reminded me back of the cherishable moments. Thanks for sharing.
My three year old put on my shoes today, similar to the image in this post. She is probably my last baby (I have 3 girls) and I remember rushing the first one. It was all so exciting and new! Now just knowing how fleeting childhood is, I do try and slow down. I ask all my girls to stop growing up, they have yet to comply. 😉
You are right, we do push our kids too much, put them in too many activities and expect way too much. We need to enjoy our little ones while we can because when we turn around they will be grown and gone.
I wish I could slow time down – it goes so fast! I feel like I am cherishing all the moments with my kiddos, but they go by in the blink of an eye. Thanks for sharing.
I love this and shared it all over the place. 🙂 Couldn’t agree with you more. One of my sons has a friend whose father started complaining about him playing with Bionicles when he was about 12 (they are 14 now). My son is still asking for toys for Christmas and I will buy him toys as long as he wants to play with them. At some point everyone naturally stops playing with toys so why rush it?
This is SOOOOO very true. Many think childhood is the only time that we learn things, so we must cram as many extra curricular activities in as possible. But play and imagination are so important. We learn all of our lives, so if our kids don’t get to learn an instrument or play chess….don’t stress! They don’t loose the capacity for learning as soon as they turn 18! The Lord brings the opportunities both in childhood and adulthood for the things He wants us personally to learn and enjoy. But we don’t always have the gift of free play so I agree let them have that gift now. Love the post!
I completely agree! You can never get that time back. They have the rest of their lives to be grown up. I wish I had understood that better as a child and teenager!
This is a beautiful, well written piece. Just this morning I was hurrying my kids because we were running late. I never stopped to think that they might hear my “hurry up” as you are not doing it good enough.
How very true! I have 3 girls (5,4 & 3months) and the oldest and youngest both reached a milestone today… Crazy. I got all teary eyed… It was hard to swallow. This just rung very true to me today.
So glad you enjoyed it Kaitie!