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God's Will Not Mine

Parenthood

All they really want is you…

After a fun-filled weekend of birthday activities and time with friends, it was time to just sit down and relax a little, letting all the excitement of the weekend settle. As we sat there cuddled on the couch I asked each of my boys “What was your favorite part of the last few days” and my younger son looked up and said “making cake with you”, and my older son thought about it a little longer and said “going out to ice cream with you and daddy”. At first I was a little confused and actually tried to get them to change their answers… “Really??” I questioned.. “It wasnt bowling?? or all your birthday presents??” And they both looked at each other and then back at me, and said “Nope.” There was a part of me that was disappointed at first.. thinking to myself, so glad we spent all that money on bowling and presents, when we could have just made a cake and had ice cream! But then it hit me..It wasnt about the cake and ice cream. It was about spending quality time with daddy and mommy. It really is that simple isn’t it?

Since becoming a mom, I am guilty of over planning, over spending and over scheduling my kids. I hate to admit that. But its true. I have run my 1-year-old to swimming lessons, because he “had to have them” and put my 3-year-old in soccer because he would “be behind” if not. I have brought them to practically every “kids play place” there is in the area, and gone to story hour when my kids plain didn’t want to be there. I have bought zoo memberships, and museum passes so that my kids didn’t miss out. I have spent money I haven’t had, and took time that was already stretched because I felt without my kids were being deprived. When in reality, if I had only stopped and asked them what they wanted to do that day, they probably would have just preferred to go to a park, where I could push them on a swing for hours, and we could pack a lunch and eat it, just us. Their response may have also been, “I just want to stay home, and make some cookies” and you know what… I would have loved that too. But instead I would rush them out the door for that 10 am play date that was more important to me than it was to them. Was  there good in all the places, and activities we have done? Yes. Were my intentions good? Always. And My kids did enjoy most of them. My son now has a love for soccer, because of those mommy and me sessions,  and I love bringing my kids to the zoo, and seeing their faces light up when watching the monkeys swing through the air. But what was really special for both me and them all those times, was doing them together, without the distractions of life getting in the way. Those afternoons of baking were spent laughing and talking to each other. Not spent looking up from a phone or computer to answer a question. Those mornings at the zoo were spent looking for animals, and practicing animal sounds, not spent cleaning while occasionally playing something quick to keep them at bay. I lose sight of that soo easily for some reason, until their little voices remind me that the real special thing to them is just being with me or my husband. That having our undivided attention means way more to them than any present or cool new play place ever could. I guess sometimes its hard to believe that I am enough for them. That my attentiveness and just being 100% in the moment is what they long for.

So to all my mommy and daddy friends out there… I challenge you this today, as I challenge myself, Put down that phone, close the computer, set aside your work, turn off the exercise DVD, and look up at your kids. Play with them. Read to them. Talk to them. Pray with them. Get to really know them. Today, show them they are your everything that they really are in your heart. Give them a few hours of your undivided attention, and let them know, they are way more important than any deadline, work out, phone call, or facebook status. I think we will all be surprised on what we have been missing out on by not setting aside that specific time just for them. This is not meant to make you feel guilty or ashamed on how you have spent your time in the past.. This is to show you, you are not alone, we all get wrapped up in life and unintentionally push aside the most important things. But you can take that time back. You have the power to make that totally uninterrupted time happen each and every day. So enjoy. I promise you it will be way more rewarding than any thing you will find on here… So go! I am gonna go too 🙂

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XO Nicole ♥

 

 


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Comments

  1. You give such great stories and advice. If I was a parent, I would totally need to hear this. I am an Aunt who lives with babies so I can still listen to the advice when I find them annoying but really they just want to play with me! Great post!

    Reply

  2. This is such a great reminder, Nicole!

    I had a wake up call when our little girl asked if we could all go to Costco together. We didn’t realize it, but we were tag-teaming the kiddo when we should have been going as a family.

    Thanks again for this post – sharing

    Reply

  3. There is so much wisdom here. It is really true- all they really want is you. We are all guilty of over scheduling or worrying that our children will be deprived in some way. What is most important is that they are not deprived of you!

    Reply

  4. We do let the world get in the way of pure kid time, don’t we? Sometimes, the best times me and my husband have with our little one is just when we wake up and all of us are together on the bed. We tickle her and watch her laugh uncontrollably. It’s the whole reason this mommy thing is so awesome!

    Reply

  6. So perfectly said! I have felt overwhelmed with my kids moodiness, and have at times just stopped what I am doing. Stopped trying to get them out of the mood and just cuddle them, tickle them, color with them. It almost always is the thing to change it up. I am enough for them. Just me!

    Reply

  7. I’m glad you wrote this because I have a tendency of over scheduling my kids, especially in the summer months. You are so right, most of the time they just want alone time to do something fun with mom and dad or just to snuggle. I am taking your challenge and will spend some quality time with the family just enjoying each others company this weekend, #creativebloggersnetwork

    Reply

  8. I love this. I bet almost all of us moms are guilty of over-planning; trying to cram all of the fun and experiences in, but we forget, as you’ve said, that the simplest thing that our kids crave is MOM. A great reminder for me, b/c it’s just what I’ve been thinking about trying to get more balance into for my own life. Thanks!

    Reply

  11. You’re so right. This resonates really strongly with me, even though my son is small. I get concerned about play dates and swim classes. Sometimes he reminds me, “Mommy, play with!”. He just wants me to sit while he plays trains.

    Reply

  13. Nicole, you never let me down and are alway joy to visit. 🙂 This is a very, very good reminder, especially for wannabe supermommies like myself, who are always over-extended and a little too tired. Thank you for sharing!!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much Letetia! That means so much to me. I really needed encouragement tonight, so seeing this right now is such a blessing to me. I pray you have a beautiful week in the Lord. xoxo

      Reply

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